ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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