ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
