okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
