TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
