And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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