would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
don't judge my taste in strippers
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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