His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
