he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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