How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
