he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
