I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
