My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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