: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
