I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
When did angry sex become our thing?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
