I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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