she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
