so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
