So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
