Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
