you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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