I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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