This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
