new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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