Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
