I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
