Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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