Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
