how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
