And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
