now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
