when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
