u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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