Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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