My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
