I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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