you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
