I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just cropdusted the office
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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