Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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