Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
