whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
