I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
