I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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