So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
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