We're facebook friends in real life
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
