I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
