im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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