Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
