Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize