You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I need water and some morals
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