I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
