wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
