Heybabeimwearingurpanties
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
