i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
