I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
