this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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