He asked me if I "almost moaned"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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