so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
