i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
