I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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