Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
