I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
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